I wrote this for the tiki bar tv / me.dium contest http://www.me.dium.com/node/863
With only the light of the full moon I sat on a park bench with my new acquisition and awaited my contact. As I sat there I wondered why was I giving up such an priceless artifact and to who. Was this person worthy of such an item, had my travels been all for naught? I thought of what I had gone through to obtain it, the endless miles I had to walk, the endless hours of research, the awful cocktails I had to drink. This was a truly unique item and I was giving it up for monetary gain, what kind of fool am I?
I’ll bring you up to speed, when I was in the far east studying with a few Tibetan monks I had a vision. Now this was no drug induced hippy vision, this was a vision of enlightenment brought on by a long meditation. In this vision a Tiki came to me. He spoke of a small island that held a Tiki Mug with a unique power. I asked where this island was but he could only say, “Find the one who breathes with another’s breath”. With those words he was gone.
For weeks these words ran trough my head but I could not make light of them. One day I was walking down a corridor towards the main hall, as I had everyday since I came to stay at this monastery. When I came to a small shrine I looked at a statue that stood before me. A large carving of a ancient man stood before me playing a flute. “One who breathes with another’s breath”, that is it. Upon further inspection I looked in the flute and a old scroll was buried deep in it. I pulled it out and to my amazement it was a map. I spook to no one of this and promptly set out on a voyage to this island.
As I sailed to the far south east edge of the Polynesian islands the ocean beat upon the ship as if a force beyond our control wanted to keep me from my destination. The crew took one look at the dormant volcano at the center of the island and refused to set foot on her banks.
So I set out on a trek to the center of the island by myself. When I finally reached the base of the volcano, I stumbled across an iceberg, literally tripping over it as it had melted down to the size of a pebble thus sending me into a crevasse head over heals. When I finally came to a stop I realized that my liquor supply had been smashed in the fall. Covered with booze I quickly tore off my shirt and wrung it into my mouth. To preoccupied with the salvation of my liquor I neglected to heed my surroundings.
The fall had brought me to a cave far below the base of the volcano and after only a few drops of rum had reached my tongue did I notice that a green glow was filling the cave. There before me stood a pillar, atop rested a green tiki mug that was producing the glow.
I ran over to it squeezing various pieces of clothing and gear until I produced a Cocktail called “Cave In”
Ingredients :
- 1 oz amaretto
- 1 oz Cuban rum
- 1 oz peach liqueur
- 1 splash orange juice
- 1 splash cranberry juice
I took one sip and a weird sensation came over me. Proceeding to finish the drink I then gathered my gear, packed the tiki mug safely away in my pack, and made my way back to the ship. As soon as I got there the captain said. “Are you done monkeying around”?
As soon as the words came out of his mouth I began to jump around, swing from branches, and I even threw my feces at the crew members. Then I knew the power of this mug. I had “caved in” to his words. Little did the captain know what power he held at that point, a person with such knowledge could have had me doing anything they pleased. When I came to my senses I went straight to my cabin and locked myself in until the effects wore off.
I tested the mug out on unknowing subjects and every time I did I felt guilty. Without the will to use the mug to my advantage I decided to get rid of it but how?
Then one night in a bar a man approached me, “Bartenders, I vould like to order a some vodka, makes me a screwdriver,” After taking a sip, he turned to me and asked, “You looks familiar, haves I seen you before?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied.
“You haves been to the islands?”
“Islands, what Islands?”
“You have beens to the Polynesian islands.”
“Yes I have, but I don’t think we have met.”
“No, but I believes you might haves something I vant. I talked with a crewmember of a ship you sailed on and they described an item I have beens lookings for, a green Tikis Mug.”
“What do you want with it?” I asked.
“Only to collect, I have the biggest collection of tikis in ze world at the Learnstitute Museum.”
I pondered this offering, if he is truly just a collector the mug would be safe in the museum and not used for ill gotten gains. “You have a deal, Mr…”
“Mr. Ambassador”
Did I sell the Tiki mug to Mr. Ambassador? Does the green mug find its way on to a shelf in the Tiki Bar? Find out next time.
